10 Signs You’re a Pirate Who Magically Transforms into a Skeleton in the Moonlight
Questions of identity plague modern society: Who am I? What am I? Where did I come from?, and other equally existential quandaries inform who we are as people on this earth in this era.
But what of the biggest question of all: Am I a pirate who magically transforms into a skeleton in the moonlight? This is certainly something that we all must ask ourselves over the course of our lives, but perhaps especially so in the case of the crew of the Black Pearl. Not 100% sure whether you’ve been living under an ancient curse due to some recent thievery you may have been involved in? Concerned that all food and beverages you attempt to consume literally fall right out of your (quickly-dissapearing) frame? Don’t panic. Here are a few signs that what’s happened to you is merely that you’re now a zombie pirate:
1. You feel like there might have been something “off” about that Mayan gold you stole.
2. You’ve really wanted to eat an apple for a while, but you just cannot eat an apple.
3. Perfect strangers run away in horror if they see you outside at night.
4. You feel slightly more “skeleton-y” when walking around after dark.
5. Your fellow pirate mates, who were there with you, stealing the Mayan gold, magically turn into skeletons in the moonlight.
6. You get the sensation that the little monkey skeleton hanging out on your pirate ship might not be an isolated incident.
8. You have never lost a nighttime sword fight.
9. You are neither hot or cold. Ever.
If you’re experiencing any of these signs, we suggest finding Captain Jack Sparrow, commandeering a ship, getting yourself to the Isla de Muerta stat, an undoing the curse that has turned you into a pirate who magically transforms into a skeleton in the moonlight.*
*Note that the Oh My Disney staff are not medical professionals, but we have seen Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl a lot of times.
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Source: Oh My Disney